Fairy Tale Endings
Him:
One kiss and the frog stayed grumpy. Many kisses later, here you are, a beautiful princess! Put that on your blog. How come you don't write what I say on that blog any more?
... I believe the answer's self-evident.
In Response to Painkillers
Him:
I love you.
Me:
Me too.
Him:
Kuch bhi nonsense. (after two seconds) I love you!
Me:
Ok. Time to go to sleep.
Him:
No!!!! I love you.
Me:
It's okay, people who love other people also go to sleep.
Him:
Are you sure?
Me:
Uhm. Yes.
Him:
You don't sound very sure.
Me:
I'm sure. Drink some water before you go to sleep.
Him:
God, you're such a strict person. Why do all women turn Chinese in the night? You Lee. Bruce Lee. Motherly Lee.
... It took a year but I finally got to hear him babble for a change.
Framed
Me:
What, why does one stupid photo frame cost seven hundred bucks?
Him:
Seriously. It doesn't even have our photo in it.
Now Everyone Can Fly... Indeed They MUST.
Him:
I can't get a refund on the flight tickets to Bangkok.
Me:
But there's a national disaster there, we're not saying we'll cancel because we feel like it.
Him:
I know, but AirAsia still won't refund anything. They won't let us exchange them for credits either.
Me:
Ok... can we change the location to somewhere else?
Him:
Nope. We can't even change the dates without paying 12,000 more.
... Clearly the joke in this conversation is AirAsia's no-brains no-heart dogmatic policy. There's no punchline except that I'd dearly love to line them all up and punch them in the guts. Hard.
Edited: Subjugated them since. Change of dates, no loss of money.
Shift of Spotlight
Me:
Grwwwl. Mrrphl. Whine. I need more sleep. I haven't slept properly in forever.
Him:
I know re. Tonight I'll stay up and put you to sleep, and then sleep.
Me:
Oh yes? How will you do that re? Lalla-lalla-lori, doodh ki...snore, snore, snore.
****
Him:
(looking through Facebook)
Oh, so this is her husband kya?
Me:
No that's just some guy she thought it'd be fun to pose for karva chauth with.
Him:
Arre. I just thought her husband looked different.
Me:
This is the same guy, V2. Post marriage version.
****
Him:
(to a friend)
Chal yaar, let's go hiking in Eastern Europe.
Friend:
We decided to do that before we got married, then we all went and got married.
Him:
Toh kya, we can go anyway! They won't mind. (turning to me) By the way, baby...
Me:
Bye.
****
****
*****
Him:
That movie went on and on forever.
Me:
Yes. And then there was an interval!
*****
Him:
XYZ College is receiving the same number of applications... but it has more seats open. So now 4 out of every 10 people are hired. Imagine, quality and standards will drop.
Me:
Ok so I'm going to give it another two years and then apply. I'll be class topper. Companies will queue up to hire me. It'll be AWESOME. Oh hey, you know what we should do? Sign up to college together. We'll bitch about everyone else, compete to be at the top... it'll be so great. We can tell our kids we went to school together.
Him:
Who has the money to fund college for both of us re?
Me:
We don't have kids! Let's loot that money. Ok chalo, not XYZ college, but ABC college toh we can afford.
Him:
Haan. ABC college has some standard also.
Me:
Yeah snooty elitist pricks go there.
Him:
Haan but kuch toh baat hai unme.
Me:
Exactly! Just like us, basically.
*****
... And this is why I deserve my own blog. Because I'm just so much more profound.What's In A Name?
Him:
Everything's fallen in place so fantastically.
Me:
What has?
Him:
The Wifi, the TV, the.. oh look, there's the guy who installed the wifi for us. I mentioned him and he came off in front of us. Let me see... Lara Dutta.
(looking around)
Where is she? Where?
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