Good Old Days

Him:

You're so beautiful. In the olden days, I'd have had to lock you up at home every time I went out.

Me:

You do that anyway.

Him:

Oh yeah, I do. I'm so clever. But in the olden days, they'd have locked you up with a guard and you'd have been putting it with him on the side. So I'm even more clever for locking you up alone.

Me:

They kept eunuchs as guards in the olden days for precisely that reason.

Him:

Oh. But you'd have found some way to do some kirkiri... Don't look at me like that, I'm not saying you would have, I'm saying in olden days you would have.